Blog: What gender means to me - R.W.'s Blog 🏳️‍⚧️

I do not see myself as a gender; ever since I was a child I was more concerned with computers and programming and video games than expressing a gender via clothes (I hated and still hate shopping for clothes), makeup (too lazy), or other similar seeming "rite-of-passages" for little girls. At the same time, what makes a "boy" also didn't compute with me. In my mind, I'm an amorphous thing that does computers… or maybe art… or maybe gardening. My physical body doesn't have a bearing on who I am.

My body treats me well, and I try to take care of it. I do eat a lot of junk food when given the chance. But, it has carried me through life and taken care of me. I love it as it is, and don't wish to make any changes. It is a body. Like an avatar in a video game to be adorned with the best armor, or with a default outfit while I adventure in the world. (I tend to prefer pockets for maximum inventory space over showing off some style.)

The umbrella term is nonbinary, perhaps more specifically agender - no gender. These days I tend to think that my neurodivergence is the reason why I'm agnostic to or disinterested in a lot of things such as gender, sexuality, religion, alcohol, drugs, and parties.

I mostly just want to create cool things or hang out in my garden, feeding the chippmunks and birds. Squirrels can come too.

Many trans and nonbinary people do not share their "birth name", often called a dead-name. It is not their chosen name, and it does not reflect who they are. Once somebody tells you a new name, you should tell your brain to delete the old entry and store the new.

I am not picky about my name. I am publicly "Rachel Wil Sha Singh" on many of my game projects. In friend communities and online I tend to go by "Moose" or "Moosie", which is much closer to a "true name" for me. I've been using this name since I was in college, so more than half my life.

At work I have my name registered as "R.W.". This is mostly so that people don't default to thinking of me as a woman.

As I perceive myself as genderless, I do not think of myself as "she" or "he". I prefer using "they/them" pronouns to describe myself.

Need help with sentence structure? Here's a guide:

Example 1:

• A: "My teacher is Bob. He hasn't graded my assignments yet."
• B: "My teacher is June. She hasn't graded my assignments yet."
• C: "My teacher is R.W.. They haven't graded my assignments yet."

Example 2:

• A: "Your teacher is Bob? I took his class before."
• B: "Your teacher is June? I took her class before."
• C: "Your teacher is R.W.? I took their class before."